Final Fantasy: Real World Style
by bent-broken
Summary: This is TwisTeDPunK29.. one a new account. Okay. Hmm. Summary. Real World on MTV. With Final Fantasy characters. In the Kingdom of Alexandria. That about covers it. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: Ack! Sadly, I do not own any of these characters. They are property of Square. Dagnabitt.  
  
Real World: Final Fantasy Style. If you don't know what that might mean, then, well, phoo on you. Just kidding. The Real World is a show on MTV that has 7 people from different styles of life some together and live in one house for three months. Obviously here, we'll be using Final Fantasy characters. This ought to be fun. Imagine the possibilities...  
  
Introductions:  
  
It's a cold, dreary day, and our announcer sits in a chair on a stage surrounded by hundreds of people. The set consists of: Two chairs and a big- screen TV. The announcer sits towards the side, smiling brightly.  
  
The announcer straightens his tie, and grins. "Hello, and welcome to our big premiere of Final Fantasy, Real World. It will take place in the Kingdom of Alexandria, and our contestants will be..." The announcer clumsily shuffles through his cards, causing them to fly everywhere.  
  
"Err-- Tifa Lockheart!" The audience claps loudly, and some men whistle as Tifa steps onto the stage wearing a little less then normal. "Hey! I love you all!" She blows kisses to the audience as she hops into the chair, crossing her legs.  
  
"Yuffie Kisaragi!" The announcer sighs as Yuffie rushes over to Tifa, and embraces her friend, squealing loudly. "We're on the same show! Yay!"  
  
"Erm, okay... Moving on..." The announcer says, beginning to get slightly uncomfortable.  
  
"Eiko... Wait, it doesn't say her last name... Oh well. Eiko!"  
  
The slightly short girl for just turning seventeen, jumps onto the stage, waving frantically. She turns towards the camera. "Hi Zidane! I wuv you!" She sits in the comfy chair, and bounces up and down in it.  
  
"Next up - - Irvine Kinneas!"  
  
A very cowboy clad Irvine walks up onto the stage, flashing Tifa a 'sexy' smile. 'Hey babe." Tifa gives him a very disturbed look, and grunts back at him. She rethinks the look she gave Irvine, and smiles back. "Hey hot stuff." She mutters to herself, smiling mischievously, "Revenge on Cloud... Teach him to make out with Aeris on my bed."  
  
The announcer looks at the interaction between Irvine and Tifa and grins. Chemistry on the set already? This was gonna be good.  
  
He flips through his cards and smiles as he reads out the next name, "Tidus... Tidus what? Geese, what is it with people and no last names?!" Tidus walks onto the stage, looking stupider then usual. (Which is quite an achievement for an idiot like himself.)  
  
(Author's note: I hate Tidus.)  
  
He flashes smiles at the girls in the front rows and sits down, only to put his butt down on a pin that Yuffie had set there. Tidus' eyes got wide, and he let out a girlish squeal. "YEOOWCH!" Yuffie puts on an innocent look, smiling as sweetly as she could. "It was her." She pointed at Eriko, who pouted.  
  
"Was not!" "Was too!" "Was not!" "Was too!" "No-uh!" "Yeah-huh!"  
  
"Oh shut up you two." Tifa said irritably. They both exchanged sorrowful glances. "We're sorry." Tifa sighed. "I swear Yuffie you're 22 going on 5."  
  
"Aww man, now my pants are ruined! And I just bought them yesterday! Now there's a rip in them! Aww man!" Tidus whined. They all gave him death glares. "Okay, okay, shutting up."  
  
The announcer sighs. "On with the introductions!"  
  
He rummages through his cards and picks out the next participant.  
  
"Kefka! God of—"The announcer rechecks what he's reading before continuing. "The god of the world, and the ruler of small children!" He raises an eyebrow. "Who writes these things, anyway?"  
  
Kefka walks onto the stage, wearing the usual makeup, while the other participants (particularly Tifa) gasp in horror. "Ewwww! Get that, that – thing away from me!" She panics, and jumps out of her seat. "No fashion at all... that pink totally clashes with the blue... Ugh..."  
  
"I'll save you, babe." Irvine says, smiling. "Never mind..." Irvine says, chuckling silently as Tifa smacks Kefka with her chair.  
  
Bam! "Owwie!" Kefka cries as Tifa BAM! smacks him again. BAM!  
  
"Okay, I'm done. Maybe you'll learn next time that purple mascara does NOT go with red eyeliner." Tifa says, grinning as she sits down in her now crumpled chair. "Girl talk..." Irvine muttered.  
  
Kefka straightens up, takes his mirror out, and makes sure his makeup is still correctly applied. He sighs in relief. "Whatever. Whew. Still beautiful. As usual!" He starts to dance, making Eiko cover her eyes in horror. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wo-o-rld! I'm so plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair; undress me anywhere. Imagination, your crea-ation!"  
  
"Never do that again." Tifa said, doing as Eiko was, and covering her eyes. "Poor Eiko is scarred for life." Eiko was trembling.  
  
"Bwahahahaa..." Kefka said, laughing loudly. "I have now achieved my life goal. Scarring young children."  
  
The announcer sighs. "Let's get with this folks..."  
  
"Reno! Reno –" Just then a bullet pins the card.  
  
"Don't say my last name." Reno says, smiling. "That's classified Turk info." Reno walks forward, and fakes a fall, landing on Tifa, with his hands grasping... Well you can guess where.  
  
Tifa screamed, and jumped up from her seat. "You – you pervert! I am so not living with him! Yuck!"  
  
Reno straightened up. "At least she didn't slap me like that other btch did last time..."  
  
SLAP  
  
"Spoke too soon..." Reno sighed rubbing his cheek.  
  
"Don't you ever do that again!" Irvine started, taking out his rifle. "Or I'll shoot 'ya." Tifa smiled sweetly. "At least someone's a gentleman here."  
  
"That's my job—Err... I mean, don't do it!" Irvine finished, fumbling.  
  
Tifa turned red, and went over to Yuffie. They whispered around for a while, giggling and conversing. Yuffie frowned, now speaking aloud. "Yay. We have two perverts, a baby, a clown, a gay, and us girls. Just great."  
  
"I'm not a baby!" Eiko protested. No-one listened to her anyway.  
  
"Clown!? How dare you! You're lucky I don't eat your brains, and wear your guts for makeup!" Kefka screamed. "Eww..." Yuffie said, disgustedly. "I did not need to hear that."  
  
"I'm not GAY!" Tidus yelled, but not succeeding in getting his point across. Tifa giggled. "It's okay. Denial is the first step towards acceptance. Besides, Yuffie and I love to have a gay guy around to go boy- hunting with."  
  
"You do?' Said Tidus, before shaking his head. "I'm not GAY!"  
  
"Holy $&#!" Cid barged in, cursing.  
  
"What are you doing here?" The announcer said, surprised.  
  
"That (&#% Aeris set me up for a &#$-ing game show. So here I $%-ing am." Cid said, irritably.  
  
Not preferring to get shot or killed, the announcer agreed.  
  
"So – this is our cast. Yuffie, Kefka, Reno, Eiko, Cid, Tidus, Irvine, and Tifa." The announcer (Whose name has now been discovered. It's Bob.) Said, smiling.  
  
"Now for where you will be living. The kingdom of Alexandria is your home now. Or at least for three months. You will be staying in a mansion outside of the castle, and it will have 12 bedrooms. You will get surprise visitors, and many dramatic experiences along the way. Be prepared."  
  
Bob sighed, and got up from his chair. "Come back tomorrow, and be prepared to jump into a jet and fly there."  
  
"What is this thing you call –'jet'?" Eiko pondered, while the others conversed. She shrugged. "Whatever."  
  
Irvine grinned. "Hey – you sound just like my friend, Squall." They all stared at him. "Nevermind. Long story."  
  
"If ya ain't got nuttin' ta say, then don't say nuttin at all, ya lil' &#$-er."  
  
The 8 of them started to walk out, and the stage lights shut off.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Technical difficulties," Bob replied. "Just go that way."  
  
Of course, no-one could see where Bob was pointing so that was meaningless. They all went left, and eventually, after Tifa had slapped Reno for 'groping' too much, they found the exit.  
  
"Thank you Gawd." Tifa said in relief. "I can't wait to get home. It's gonna be a long three months."  
  
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Author's note: R & R pwease! It was my first fic, so don't go too hard on me! Thanks, you're great readers. If you have any suggestions or anything, either e-mail me, or say it in your review. Thanks, much!  
  
-Justin. (TwiStEdPuNk21) 


End file.
